You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
