Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
