Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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