I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
