In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
