That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
