He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
