All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
