I love black thongs
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
