You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
