Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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