i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
