My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
