there was a trapeze. enough said
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
