So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
