i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
