no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
