Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
