i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
