So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
