very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Can I color on your dick again?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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