to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
