i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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