try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
