If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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