We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why didn't you poke me back
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
