well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
