3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
