Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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