i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
