Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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