Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
