Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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