it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
