My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
