Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
