After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
