Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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