I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I AM VODKA MAN
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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