I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
