i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
