Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I party with great urgency now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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