So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
