I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
