Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Its about making memories worth repressing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
