Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
