I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
