we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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