yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
