why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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